I reject the idea that this was a harmless prank, and hope you do to

Facebook's infinite scroll led me last night to a video of a woman being unclothed in public by her boyfriend. But it was all very funny and just a harmless prank … wasn't it? The scene is a beach and the boyfriend provides helpful commentary as he films his girlfriend on his phone. He has swapped her new bikini for one that dissolves on contact with water. She doesn't know it, but after he encourages her to go for a swim she soon finds out … as do the other people swimming around her, and the 25 million or more people who have watched the video.

Now I can imagine that in a respectful romantic relationship, dissolving swimwear could be quite fun. In private, even if one party were tricked into wearing that swimming costume, it may be playfully intimate and nourishing for both players. Could become a cherished shared memory in that relationship.

But what is depicted in this video is something quite different.

Not only has the boyfriend tricked the woman into wearing the swim suit and cajoled her into the water, he has done so in public with the explicit aim of embarrassing her. There may be some women who love such attention. It is even possible that she was an accomplice rather than the victim of his prank. The whole thing could have been staged. But that is not how the video is presented.

If we take the video at face value, then she gave no consent. No consent to being unclothed in public. No consent for the scene being recorded. One wonders whether she gave any consent for the video being broadcast publicly.

I can imagine the boyfriend defending himself "But she was OK with it. She smiled at the end. She knows I am a bit of a prankster. Just a bit of fun." I'd like to know whether they have the sort of relationship in which she could honestly say "I did not like that" without risking his anger or dismissive rejection. Where is her voice in this video? Deliberately muted. What she thinks is unimportant. Just as long as she is gorgeous and smiles for the camera.

Does the boyfriend have any idea of the abusiveness of this "prank"? Does he realise that every time the video is watched the woman's embarrassment is repeated? Does he realise that this video will now be stored in thousands of voyeurs' private collections for them to show their friends and wank over for ever? If the couple break up, will he re-issue a revenge porn edition with more abusive voiceover? How many other people will edit new versions of the video with more lewd narratives? How many other "boyfriends" will be inspired to repeat the abuse against their own partners, under the delusion that this is just normal? How many times will that woman be approached on the street by people who have seen the video and ask if she'll strip off for them too?

Like millions of others, I too watched it … or most of it anyway. I am a male who has been taught to desire that particular body type and I hoped, with the naivety that comes from sexual desire, that it would be rewarding to watch. But I am also a researcher in the field of human trafficking. In that sad social space, men often coerce and abuse women for their own enjoyment and financial gain.

The boyfriend filming this bikini prank would most likely to be horrified to be compared to sex traffickers, but the underlying assumption is the same -- that women are objects for his pleasure and personal gain. I'm not sure if he earns any money from this video, but he certainly gains status among others who make that same assumption. On "blokey" websites he is lauded as a clever dude, able to trick gorgeous girls to get naked at will.

This video exemplifies one of the deep problems with today's masculinity: the assumption that women exist for our amusement.

The issue is not, however, simply gender-based. I would not be surprised if the person who produced this video would just as easily distribute recordings of embarrassing pranks with male victims. Coercing others for amusement may well be a common mode of operating for him, reflecting a posture of disrespect. I don't know him, and can't make any informed judgement about this particular case. But I can see a common pattern of unkindness in our world, one that takes advantage of current communication technologies to spread unkindness to larger audiences than were ever possible before. At its core this is a refusal to view each person we meet with dignity, and a rejection of the Golden Rule about treating others as we would have them treat us.